So, i decided to take a break from blogging about the more serious, sad and depressing stuff and post something funny. If you have heard of Fmylife.com, then you will get these, if not, you are seriously missing out on a good laugh. These are a few submissions i picked at random after reading a bunch this morning. ENJOY!!
1. Today, i was walking by a bunch of pretty girls, I'm not the most attractive boy, so i walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my God, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently my ass is nicer than my face. FML
2. Today, i finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so i thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
3. Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
4. Today, i came home from work late (2:30am). As i snuck carefully into bed and laid down next to my sleeping future wife, my fiance half awake said, "No, no...Dan will be home soon." I am Dan. FML
5. Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with my because the love advice that she gets on her cell phone every week says that i'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and i was planning to propose next week. FML
okay, i have to stop now because otherwise this post would be two pages long. lol check out some others at fmylife.com.
Have a great day!
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